Needle and Dicks

Sporting Goods, that is.  I was really surprised to read Nitmos' post today about his return from vacation and the fact that I won the $100 gift card to Dicks.

I would like everyone to know that I am the person that NEVER wins drawings.  EVER.  Until this contest, my grand total for winnings is one (1) Mississippi State Baseball can holder that I won in 1994.  That basically sums it up.  I did win a knife about 6 years ago in a work drawing and only because they had enough stuff so that EVERYONE got something.

I am also taking this as a cosmic hint to get off my ass and do some more running.  I am modifying the FFBS plan, effective tomorrow.  The new FFBS plan is going to try to incorporate a form of STREAKING!  Yep, in order for me to do anything run related, I have to really simplify it.  So if the day ends in "y," I will get my butt up and run.  Now, I will not do anything too stupid, like run when I am hurt or it is pouring rain. 

Am I crazy?  Am i stoopid?  Possibly and yeah.

Why Needle?

People who know me in real life don't have to work hard to figure out why my nickname has been Needle for many, many years.  So to those in blogland may wonder, where does the name Needle come from?

It is quite simple actually.  First of all, Needle is short for Needled*ck.  Now, I know that everyone is thinking bad things about my manhood at this point, but I can ASSURE you that is has nothing to do with my actual anatomy.  Really, it doesn't.  I swear it doesn't.  NO, REALLY!  Ok, maybe a little....

Basically, my last name can easily be turned into Needled*ck.  As a matter of fact, even a slow middle-school kid could come up with the nickname.  Over the years, it has just been shortened to Needle (even my wife calls me Needle half the time).

How it became an officially official nickname:

When I was in college I marched in the drum line.  Since we had allot of material to learn, we always started a couple of days before the rest of the band.  At that time, all of the members of the band were listed on a huge board in the Band Hall.  As I walked into the Band Hall, on my first day on campus, with all my stuff still in my car, I introduced myself to the drum captain and the other returning drummers.  Immediately, BC yells across the room "Hey! Your Needled*ck!  As soon as I saw your name on the board, I knew this was going to be your nickname." 

It was custom for everyone on the drumline to have a nickname and I was the first of the new drummers to get one.  Even before I had showed up.

Needless to say, this nickname has stuck with all of college drum line buddies and most of my college friends.

So there you go, a little synopsis of the name.

Weekend of FAIL

This past weekend was the first game for teh daughter's soccer team.  It was not an official game, just a "friendly" to help out another region.  We had to travel about 30 minutes to play.  First of all, the soccer complex is ok.  I am kinda spoiled with the awesome fields we have, so not much can compare.  The field we played on was WAY too small.  I don't think they go the memo about proper field size.  They also don't believe in calling all those pesky "rules" that everyone else follows (such as offside, tripping in the penalty area, etc).

Anyway, the poor girls were kinda lost out there.  We really have not worked allot on positions and what to do when in a certain position.  We tended to get out of position on defense and gave up 4 easy goals.  The girls played hard, but you could tell the other team had a couple more weeks of practice than us.  Also, we really miss not have teh daughter out there playing.

Running FAIL x 2:

Even though the weather was absolutely PERFECT all weekend long, I did not get in a single run.  We are talking low to mid 60's in the morning and I stayed my lazy ass on the couch.  I have got to start getting at least one run in on the weekend because Monday is always a rest day for me (it just can't get going on Monday mornings).

Today was 2.24 miles in 30 min for a 13:25 pace.  About 15 seconds slower per mile, but I know that I did the first mile too slow and kicked ass on the second.

Running like Usain Bolt

Ok, not really but today I did the second run of my new far-fetched bullsh*t plan. And teh results are:

2.22 miles in 29:15 for a pace of 13:11

Back to Usain Bolt, it is absolutely amazing what he has done the last year. Every 100 and 200 meter race has been a world record. Just amazing.

Ok folks (hey I can say folks, plural, now that more than just LooMoo came to visit yesterday. Thanks again for the link love) I gotta get to work now.

You gotta love politicians

First of all, greetings to the couple of peeps that followed Teh LooMoo's link to my page.  I hope that you didn't run screaming at all my crappy writing.  Maybe one day, I can actually learn to create coherent sentences and paragraphs.

This morning on the way to work I was listening the NPR (because I am a geek) and they had a story about Massachusetts politics.  As most everyone knows, Sen Ted Kennedy is battling brain cancer right now and he is planning on stepping down in the near future.  The problem is with the laws of succession in Mass.  According to the story, in 2004 Mass had a Republican governor.  This is when John Kerry (I hope that is right) was running for President.  In order to make sure that no republican would be appointed prior to a special election, the Mass legislature changed the law so that no one would be in office from the point of resignation until a special election is held 5 months later.

Now, they have a democratic govoner, and Sen Kennedy does not want their seat to be emplty for 5 months.  You just gotta love politics!

Anyway, since I am probably the only one that finds that funny, I will move on.

I am desperately seeking a fresh start to my running and this is my plan.  For the last 2 months, I have been "running" around 2.8-3.0 miles at a 14:30 pace.  I am such a speed demon.  I have been obsessed with getting in the distance and then eventually working on getting faster.  Well folk(s), I ain't working.

My new idea/plan/far-fetched bullshit is to cut the idea of mileage, pace etc completely out of my head.  I will run 15 minutes out and then back.  Pace will be as fast as I can go without reaching the puke threshold.  I am allowing myself walk breaks as needed.  My goal is to be running the entire 30 minutes in 30 days at a 12:00/mile pace.

Yesterday I ran 2:08 miles in 30:00.  Today, nada.

(Full disclosure: I am really neither a democrat nor a republican since I think they are all crooks)

Eva Bank Midnight Run

Finally getting around to writing this race report to be read by my one reader.  I apologize for the delay, but I was traveling for work yesterday and in general I am just lazy.

This run was last Friday night and started at 11:59 pm.  Before the run, I also had soccer practice for my daughter's team.  This started at 7 and ended around 8:15.  After practice, I headed home to eat some supper and try to take a nap.  I was able to rest for about an hour before I had to get up to go to the race.

No issues pre-race.  I ran into one of my old bosses and a couple of friends from the area.  I could not belive how much this race has grown.  There were almost 700 runners.

Overall craptastic race.  I ran the first mile way too fast for my slow ass.  I ran like a race rookie, but I did finish and that was my only goal for the race.  I was very surprised at the number of runners that were wearing cotton shirts.  That had to suck in that weather.  When I added the run to bimactive, it told me that the actual humidity during the run was 96%.  WTF!! 96%!  No wonder I was sweating so much.  So my offical excuse for sucking ass in the race is the humidity.  Hey, I will take what I can get.

Going to try to post a picture now and see what happens.

[caption id="attachment_20" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Teh daughter with a new fashion accessory"][/caption]

She has what is believed to be a stress fracture in her ankle.  She will miss the first 4 or 5 games of the soccer season and she is bummed.

A new PW........WOO HOO

I will write up a full race report later of the Eva Bank Midnight Run.  Before I forget, here are my mile times:

Mile 1: 12:45 (WAY, WAY too fast....wait for the crash and burn)

Mile 2: 28:45

Mile 3: 42:11

0.1: 44.10

Times not great, but I will take them.  This is the first 5K that I have run in over 2 years.  I spent all of last year on marathon training and slowing my speed to do these long runs (I am a moron for not using a training plan).

Hope you have a great weekend o' 1 reader of mine!

I got ice cream....I got ice cream....

Last nite I had to cancel my daughter's soccer practice due to heavy rain and impending storms.  Of course, after I cancel it the weather clears up and no more rain until later in the night.  Oh well.

Since we were planning on being at the soccer fields last night, my wife didn't lay out anything for supper.  We decided to go to Chick-fil-a (chicken crack) and get some food.  Tuesday nights our Chick-fil-a has a kids eat free and I love me some free.  We decided to just go thru the drive-thru and go home to eat.  When I pulled up to pay, the cashier asked if I wanted to try a peach milkshake, for FREE!  I, of course, said HELL YES! (actually just said sure).

So my craptastic day at worked ended with free ice cream and it was good.  Maybe this running isn't soo bad for my mental health.

No run today because I am a slaker.

Running is bad for my mental health

The days of my last two runs have sucked ass.
Last Wednesay: Got Cujo'd
Today: IT did something wrong and lost all of my work for the past year. All. of. it. Hundreds of documents, lists, surveys, etc on a SharePoint server.

I will be spending the next forever working on trying to restore it.

Am finally going to go run again

Spent the weekend in Chattanooga with the family.  Took the kids to Ruby Falls and Rock City.  We had a good time, but alas, I did no running.   Mrs Needle told me I needed to wait until this week to start running again after the Cujo attack.

I am planning on running the Eva Bank Midnight Run 5K this Friday night.  The run starts at 11:59pm.  I have been wanting to run this ever since I moved back from Mississippi 8 years ago and this is the first time I have been able.  Last year I SEVERELY sprained my ankle in July and didn't train for almost a month.  Prior years my work schedule always fucked it up.  I have no goal for this race but to finish and not die.  Think I can handle that.

To my one reader (LM), I apologize for somehow deleting your comment.  That is what I get for trying to do it on my Blackberry.  I somehow made the blog eated your comment.  Sorry.  Maybe one day I will have another reader so that I can eated his/her comments.

I got Cujo'd

I first posted a summary of this story in the comments section of The Loose Moose.  She graciously replied and I finally decided to create my own running blog.  So here goes my first real post, hope it doesn't bore you....

This past Wednesday, which is actually my anniversary to my better half (MBH), I went for my early morning run around the neighborhood.  I have a nice 3 mile loop, with a couple of pretty hard hills, that I like to run.  Within the 3 mile loop, there are about a dozen dogs.  None of them in a fence or on a chain, just running around.  I have been running this loop off and on for the last 4 years.  Most of the dogs barely even acknowledge my existence anymore, execpt 3. 

1. Dog #1, aka fucking retard dog, ALWAYS comes running out at me barking like I am trying to steal his food.  A very aggressive dog that I fucking hate


2. Dog #2, aka pretty sweet pit bull, an older dog that usually comes out to say hi, occasionally trying to get me to pet her


3. Dog #3, now known as Cujo, usually barks like the dickens but generally doesn't come within 10 feet of me

So, I am doing my run thing and at about the 1.5 mile mark (where Dog #2 and Cujo live across the street from each other) I hear Dog #2 and Cujo to my right.  Cujo comes running out like he is going back to his house (like he has done numerous times before).  Unlike his normal routine, this time Cujo decides to BITE MY LEG.  He bit me just below the left knee and then runs off. 

My first reaction is WTF???? The next sequence of events went as follows:

1. I stop my watch.  I am not going to let Cujo attacking me mess up my time.


2. Have the following conversation with Cujo:
   
   
   
   1. Me: You fucking bit me you god forsacken mutt!!!
   
   
   2. Cujo: Bark
   
   
   3. Me: What in the ever living crap are you doing?  If you hadn't just bitten my leg I would chase down your sorry ass and beat it!!!
   
   
   4. Cujo: Bark
   
   
   5. Me: Fuck you! 
   
   
   6. Cujo: Bark
   
   
   
   


3. Neighbor from across the street comes out to see what I am yelling about and to see if it was Dog #2 that bit me.  He helped me get cleaned up since I had blood running down my leg.


4. Finished run

I ended up bleeding thru 4 bandaides before I finally went to see a Doctor that morning.  Doc gave me some anti-biotics and bandaged me up.

I found out yesterday that the dog was a "drop off" dog that my wife's uncle's brother-in-law had taken in.  Finding dogs in your yard is one of the things that happens when you live in BFE (bum fuck egypt).

The doctor recommended that I not run for a few days, so I have been a good boy and listened to him.  I will be running tomorrow morning, but I am probably going to try a new route that does not include so many dogs.