(Ed. note: I wish I was a good enough writer to properly put my theory on the blog. I know it was allot funnier in my head in the middle of my long run. Enjoy and mock away in the comments)
I was planning on writing my theory of the blogosphere disappearance of one Glaven Q. Heisenberg. Realizing that G is a sensative soul, I have instead decided to write a story about a completely fictional blogger name Gloven. Plus I don't want to get sued for libel, he might get my fortune of approximately $2.35, $1.85 (got thirsty).
Now Gloven, aka G-love, is a humble librarian in the great northeast, possibly even in Jersey somewhere. G-love is a runner and enjoys a hearty banter on teh interwebs. He also has some weird obsession with his own n*ts@ck and an@l love.
See, doesn't sound like anyone I know.
Every year G-love and the Misses would go on their an@l annual vacation to Teh Great Concavity. This also meant this was G-love's time to try to get into Teh Great Body Cavity that he so desires.
On the first night of vacation:
G-love: Hey baby, you know what big daddy G-love needs?
Misses: No
G-love: But I read that MooLoo lets Mr Moo do it!
Misses: No
G-love: I can be like Needle! You won't feel a thing!
Misses: No
G-love: I bet ToyBum would let me...
Misses: Oh hell no!
As usual, G-love is denied what he desires.
The next day, G-love devises a plan...
After a nice dinner, G-love and the Misses retire to hotel. G-love surprises the Misses with a bottle of wine. While G-love pours up a couple glasses of wine, he slips a roufie he picked up from the dealer at the softball game that day.
Unfortunately, G-love isn't that bright and gives the Misses the wrong glass. As they are drinking, G-love starts to fell weird all over and the room starts spinning.
The next morning, G-love wakes up without a clue of what happened the night before. The last thing he can remember is slipping the roufie into the Misses drink.
Misses: G-love, last night was sooo amazing!
G-love: Yeah....yeah, it was.
Misses: I can't believe that you would give up contact with all your friends to finally fulfill your dreams.
G-love: Um...yeah...it was totally worth it
G-love is franticly trying to remember last night, but nothing is coming back. He also realizes that his only friends are on-line and now he has to give them up. What will MooLoo, ToyBum, Dr Ric, Steve R and all his other blogger friends think?
G-love: Honey, do I really have to give up all my friends?
Misses: Well, you got what you wanted, now I get what I wanted.
The Misses, knowing full well that G-love passed out at 8:15 the night before, is finally getting her revenge for his an@l pestering ways.
Now, G-love has learned the truth and has returned to teh interwebs to spread his pervertedness with the masses.
For You, an Adventure, for Bess, a Party
4 months ago
