The Con-body-cavity

(Ed. note: I wish I was a good enough writer to properly put my theory on the blog.  I know it was allot funnier in my head in the middle of my long run.  Enjoy and mock away in the comments)

I was planning on writing my theory of the blogosphere disappearance of one Glaven Q. Heisenberg.  Realizing that G is a sensative soul, I have instead decided to write a story about a completely fictional blogger name Gloven.  Plus I don't want to get sued for libel, he might get my fortune of approximately $2.35, $1.85 (got thirsty).

Now Gloven, aka G-love, is a humble librarian in the great northeast, possibly even in Jersey somewhere.  G-love is a runner and enjoys a hearty banter on teh interwebs.  He also has some weird obsession with his own n*ts@ck and an@l love.

See, doesn't sound like anyone I know.

Every year G-love and the Misses would go on their an@l annual vacation to Teh Great Concavity.  This also meant this was G-love's time to try to get into Teh Great Body Cavity that he so desires.

On the first night of vacation:

G-love: Hey baby, you know what big daddy G-love needs?

Misses: No

G-love: But I read that MooLoo lets Mr Moo do it!

Misses: No

G-love: I can be like Needle! You won't feel a thing!

Misses: No

G-love: I bet ToyBum would let me...

Misses: Oh hell no!

As usual, G-love is denied what he desires.

The next day, G-love devises a plan...

After a nice dinner, G-love and the Misses retire to hotel.  G-love surprises the Misses with a bottle of wine.  While G-love pours up a couple glasses of wine, he slips a roufie he picked up from the dealer at the softball game that day.

Unfortunately, G-love isn't that bright and gives the Misses the wrong glass.  As they are drinking, G-love starts to fell weird all over and the room starts spinning.

The next morning, G-love wakes up without a clue of what happened the night before.  The last thing he can remember is slipping the roufie into the Misses drink.

Misses: G-love, last night was sooo amazing!

G-love: Yeah....yeah, it was.

Misses: I can't believe that you would give up contact with all your friends to finally fulfill your dreams.

G-love: Um...yeah...it was totally worth it

G-love is franticly trying to remember last night, but nothing is coming back.  He also realizes that his only friends are on-line and now he has to give them up.  What will MooLoo, ToyBum, Dr Ric, Steve R and all his other blogger friends think?

G-love: Honey, do I really have to give up all my friends?

Misses: Well, you got what you wanted, now I get what I wanted.

The Misses, knowing full well that G-love passed out at 8:15 the night before, is finally getting her revenge for his an@l pestering ways.

Now, G-love has learned the truth and has returned to teh interwebs to spread his pervertedness with the masses.

Someone needs to work on their algorithm

I have been reading allot of blogs talking about going to the gym. Having never been a gym person, I really have never thought about joining one.

Today I decided to look online at some of the gyms in town. I pulled up the profile of one of the gyms on Merchantcircle.com. It gave very little information, but it listed some recommended businesses.
-2 STD testing clinics
-2 local motels

Well, I guess fit folks get their groove on a little more often and might need these services.